Tuesday, 12 May 2015

The truth

  It's been just over a year since my husband has become a police officer as some might imagen it was a pretty big lifestyle change for him. What many people don't realize or think about is the struggle or toll it takes on a family and relationship.

I wanted to start writing this blog because I myself have searched for resources and find very little... Sure there's help if your husband has PTSD or gets injured but what about daily life, I want people to know the truth, being a police wife and mother is FUCKING hard !!!

In this blog I will also share stories about me in general like my weight struggles, my exciting new career and our amazing children.

I also want to make it very clear that my husband loves his career and it's his dream come true, we are very blessed that we have this opportunity, living our dreams at our age is almost unheard of but as I write this I can honestly say in the last 48hrs I have seen my husband for maybe 30 minutes. He works 4 days on 4 days off which is two days and two nights. One night one he slept in so he could be alert at night however he had court at 1pm so as he slept I took the kids grocery shopping, when I returned he was leaving for court and worked all night. I awoke at 5:30 realizing he wasn't home yet ( was suppose to be done at 4am) I text him, hoping he was safe . It was a busy night so he worked until 6:30am (poor man ) the kids woke as he was getting to bed so I tried my best to keep things quiet so he could sleep, cleaned the house and did my best to function after a rough night with our youngest who is teething, hubby awoke @ 3:30pm  and got ready for tonight's shift. Our oldest was now moody and pouting because daddy won't be home again for dinner or bedtime.

I sit here alone as the kids are in bed and feel the knot in my stomach that I do on every night shift. It's more dangerous at night and he often doesn't have a partner which worries me to no end. I let our oldest sleep in our bed so I don't feel so alone and can focus on the warmth of her body instead of his absence. Maybe I'm the only wife that worries this much but I love him so much and can't imagen him being hurt or worse  yet it's a realization and huge possibility. All I can do is try my best to be the heart behind his badge !!

To me this meanse staying strong , keeping him healthy and strong which will ultimately keep him safe as well as give him reason to want to come home !!!

Please enjoy reading about our crazy journey... From high school to Kevlar man we've come along way !!!